I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
