Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
