I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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