I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just high enough for therapy.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
