I want to make a zoo with you.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
