a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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