yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
