He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
