I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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