it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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