I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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