I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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