fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
