I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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