Say something about gay babies.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
