Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
