Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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