I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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