so explain again why im purple
no
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
