Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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