im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
That was before I lit my hair on fire
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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