I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
