The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
