i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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