Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
