Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
