...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
