If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
worst night to have a conscience
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
