So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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