I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
worst night to have a conscience
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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