He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
