Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
