no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
