is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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