Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
