I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
