Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
