I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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