Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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