Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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