erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
