I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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