Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
