I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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