So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
