I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
