Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just invented taco cereal.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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