I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
