dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
