How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
